If you grew up adjacent to any religious institution, you were either completely enthralled with the idea of sex because it sounded so off-limits or put off by it, thanks to the bullshit lessons the church taught you.
I am absolutely the first example (my partner, the latter), and now, as a fully-realized Leather Queer who threw away the literal lies taught to me surrounding human pleasure and sex, I am known as BrujaPxssy — A queer asf, afro-indigenous Witch who happens to be a Dominatrix and Fetishistic artist, and I’m here to inspire you to tap into sensuality through spiritualism. Good news! This is something I’ve been proactively working on in my personal craft, so all I will be sharing is directly from my altar and journal!
Now you may be asking yourself: why does a pro domme and porn performer feel the need to work on their desirability? Short answer is: WE HAPPEN TO BE HUMANS AFTER ALL. I am not immune to the pressures and complexes generated within me, thanks to a combo of my rearing and societal pressures. After all, as a queer brown person of size, I am walking bullseye for those lovely anxieties. I and those like me navigate that shit every waking day. Yes, that was the short answer, and in all seriousness, it is a subject all in itself that deserves a separate post. But! I am here for another subject dear to me. My work as a sex worker wouldn’t be even a thing if it weren’t for my spiritual awakening — which, surprise, surprise! — coincided with my sexual awakening. I’ve also taken an unofficial poll amongst my peers, and most of them agree that through this work, they found a connection to spirit.
Activating Your Sacral Chakra
Your sacral chakra is the roof of your living body. Aligning and cleansing your chakras is a key element of tapping into your sensual power and sexual healing, and if you are a survivor of sexual assault, I highly suggest this as your first step.
Our root chakras are out-of-balance from any abuse and trauma we went through, and in experience, skipping this step will only set you back and have to go back to it later on. Shadow work is as important as light work. IMO, more so. Here is a list of things that can help you connect to your Root:
• Crystal Pleasure Tools such as Yoni Eggs
• Kegels, with or without Yoni Eggs
• V-steam
• Kundalini Yoga
• Tantric Massage
• Intentional and Tantric Masturbation & Self Pleasure
• Any movement that makes you sweat. Sweat is the fire element, and fire is connected to our sacral energies.
• Scrying with bodily fluids like moon blood and semen (this is pretty advanced, so stay in your lane with this)
Check Your Moon, Venus & Mars
Every spiritualist should study their birth chart. Focus on your Venus (how you love), your Mars (how you take action), and your Moon (how you feel). Bonus points for your Lilith!
Earthy Delights: Crystals and Herbs
Working with crystals is my favorite part of my craft. As a Capricorn sun, my tether to the Earth element is pretty damn strong. I used a Labradorite Yoni Egg whilst training at the dungeon during my first year as a Pro. When I would have a session that was physically exerting, particularly impact sessions, I remember clenching my muscles tight around the magical egg with the swing of my flogger and feeling energies from my sacred space out. Truly something you need to experience to understand fully.
Crystals that can enhance your sensual connection:
• Rose Quartz — The Universal Lover
• Smokey Quartz — The Grounder
• Carnelian — The Energizer
• Rhodonite — The Healer
• Orange Calcite — The Joyful
• Moonstone — The Intuitive
• Amazonite — The Earth Connector
Flowers & Herbs:
• Rose — The worldly mother flower of love. Red are the ones for love and lust.
• Cinnamon — A staple in my practice and a fav scent/taste of mine.
• Passion Flower — Passion is in the word… I mean…
• Mugwort and Wormwood — The sisters! These two babes clear out EVERYTHING. Use this instead of sage and other closed-practice smudging items.
• Hibiscus — Reminds me of islands and the beautiful landscapes and people.
Dressing your candle with the above flowers/herbs, placing them in a vial, and carrying them in your mojo bag, scattered around your altar (beds count as altars!) are all ways to use these precious ingredients. Add any of these beautiful herbs to a bath, and try goat’s milk and coconut water as a base.
The Idols
Ah, Mythology. Truly the most interesting part of the lore is the fantastical stories of those set higher than us mortals. To remind you, I was an awkward fat kid who didn’t ever fathom having connections to these stories of flawless and powerful beings, but damned if I didn’t fully enjoy the tales. I may not work with these Deities on a regular basis, but I am in my most recent efforts since they have the reputations to help with love and/or fertility work…but do your research thoroughly! Make sure you’re in your lane when working with Deities. You just always make an offer before asking for anything, the Gods do not do greedy.
Innana/Ishtar — The First recorded Dominatrix Goddess who formed a modern society in present-day Syria. I always recommend the book Art and History of the Dominatrix by Annie Nomis.
Oshún — The Yoruba Goddess of the Rivers. She loves the color Yellow, Gold, and honey.
Aphrodite (Venus) — When this Goddess was caught on Olympus cheating on her God-husband Hephaestus, she was unbothered when caught in a net along with her lover, Ares. In fact, before she left Olympus, she gave herself to the God Hermes for flattering her during the whole ordeal.
Hathor — The Egyptian Aphrodite. Hathor possesses the ability to manipulate any man or woman, whether they be mortal, god, or beast, to do her bidding.
Freya — Norse Goddess of Love, Sex, War, and Death. She was raised by Witches and thought to be “The Party Girl” amongst the pantheon.
Xochiquetzal — The Aztec Goddess of sexual love, work, flowers, and plants. In some areas, she was identified with Chalchiuhtlicue, the Goddess of fresh water.
Ixchel — The Mayan Goddess of the Moon and Love. Sounds like moon blood would be a good element to work with when conjuring her!
Final Thoughts
In a world where love spells are the most bought, searched, and sought-after, I would like to encourage you to turn that onto yourself. Seek for yourself, close your eyes, and imagine that the other person you see in the distance running towards you — is you — and you cannot be more excited about it.
If your intent is more sexual than sensual, it is suggested to maintain a level of abstinence. The gods are more willing to listen to us when we suffer for them, and not cumming when you want too is a cruel form of suffering. I have been celibate for two years, and honestly, even when I tried to replace the sex I was missing from my abuser, it just never panned out. You would think that an international pornstars performer-husband would be an easy pull.
It’s easy come easy go to your spirit guides, trust them even it pisses you off and leaves you tight and dry. On the other hand, orgasms are a powerful manifestation tool, and if you have the experience in harnessing them in your practice, then, by all means, use them. More so- you can work around to nix genitalia out if you have an uneasy relationship with them. This is your experience and trying different things to find out what works for you is a huge part of sex magick.
Lastly, charm your makeup brushes before applying makeup and say, “I apply for me and only me, with this brush I attract times 3.” Wear something powerful when doing your self-work… not sexy, but powerful. Everything else may be about money, except sex… that’s about power. Claim yours on your own terms.