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Hocus Poke-Us: 5 Sex Positions for Spooky Season

Hocus Poku-Us Halloween Sex Positions
Last Updated: Aug 21, 2024

They're cumming to get you, Barbara! The spooky season is upon us, meaning that it's time for any good witch (or bad witch) to update your tricks for tantalizing treats! Whether you're looking to edge the ectoplasm out of someone, or wanting to sexplore your own lagoon, we've got 5 spooky Halloween sex positions to raise your bedroom play from the dead.

1. ParaHOLEmal Activity

If you've found yourself recently possessed by Pazuzu, or are just looking to... exercise your core, some ParaHOLEmal Activity might be right up your (or your partner's) alley.

ParaHOLEmal Activity Sex Position

To begin one person should assume a crabwalk position (the Pazazu), lifting their trunk off the floor with your arms and legs bearing the weight of your core. We would suggest trying this maneuver on a harder surface such as a floor or a yoga mat as a bed might be too soft and cause you to more easily lose your balance. The other partner (the rider) then assumes a cowpoke or reverse cowpoke position to straddle the groin of the topping partner with their legs bracing the outside of the hips.

If the Pazazu is a penis-haver, the penis should penetrate the rider's anus or vagina. The Pazazu would then shift their weight up and down to move in and out of the rider.

If the Pazazu is a vagina-haver, squeeze the Le Wand XO Vibrator in between your thighs so that the external lip of the toy sits on your clitoris. This will give rapturous external stimulation while penetrating the poltergeist out of the rider.

2. REDRUMp

Move aside, Bloody Mary. There's a new mirror player in town! If you're into being your own voyeur, this position will let you reflect on the out-of-body experience of external vibrations while allowing for a bit of sub/Dom play, but it requires a bit of setup.

To begin, you'll need two mirrors set up so that one is in front of the sub and one is behind. The idea is that the sub will be able to effortlessly view the action being performed on them with the reflection of one mirror in the other. The sub should assume a downward dog position with their RUMp in the air towards the back mirror. For added excruciation, involving some sexy restraints such as metal handcuffs or bed restraints can tweak up the roleplay.

With the sub in position, the Dom then uses a combination of teasing and toying with the rim of the anus, and for vagina-havers, the vulva allowing a full view to the sub.

This makes the perfect opportunity to work in a two pronged vibrator such as the Le Wand Deux, which can tease the external edges of these sensitive zones and cause the sub shocking sensations that will make them "shine" with pleasure.

3. The EctoBLASTem

If you aren't afraid of no mess, then put a towel down for the EctoBLASTem. This Halloween sex position might give you a little headrush but can really get the... juices flowing.

The EctoBLASTem Sex Position

For this position, we'd highly recommend using the Le Wand Squirting Set. Start off with the bottom laying on their back. The Top should stand above the bottom, lifting the bottom's legs above their head while bending one of their knees, holding the opposite leg straight up, or at a 60-degree angle.

MASTER: The complete guide to squirting for beginners!

While in this position, the top should brace the bottom's body against their own, creating a shoulder stand on the bed, while penetrating them with the Le Wand Curve attachment. Penis-having tops can use this maneuver as a preamble to penetration, or just continue prodding the G-spot with the Le Wand Squirting Set. This elevated positon of the hips can help to angle the curve more towards the G-spot and make it more probable to cast out a squirt from the bottom.

4. Last Train to Bussy-an

For those who like to ride till the end of the line, this move is for those who enjoy a fully filled caboose. Be sure you stretch beforehand, you wouldn't want to lose your head! (but seriously, make sure you stretch and have the flexibility for this position before taking it head-on).

Last Train to Bussy-an Sex Position

To begin, the penetratee should lay on their back with their butt as high in the air as you can manage, bringing their legs above their head over their shoulders. This position allows for the deepest penetration into the anus, allowing for a deep filling sensation and, for uterus-havers, a direct track all aboard to the A-spot!

While in this position, and using AMPLE lube, insert the Swerve sex toy into the anus, sinking it deep past the sphincter, and allowing the bumps and sensations of the Swerve to explore the sensitive walls of the booty. Introduce temperature play sex to the situation with a warming lube to really heat up their caboose!

5. Dawn of the Head

If zombie movies taught us anything, it's to always aim for the head. There is no better way to ensure a complete headshot than with a little extra edging. Pro tip: Activate the Kivin Method or send them overboard with these analingus positions.

Dawn of the Head Sex Position

For this Halloween sex position, have the head receiver sit on the edge of the bed with their legs raised. Place their legs over the head giver's shoulders to position in a half squat. While in this position, if the receiver has a penis, slide on a wand cock sleeve, and use it to work the base of the shaft upwards while swirling the tongue around the head of the penis and dipping the head in and out of the mouth. When it appears they are about to cum, stop the action momentarily to hold them in heady agony. Work this for as long as you desire, or until they can't hold on any longer.

If the receiver has a vagina, switch out the Loop attachment for the penetrative Dual attachment. This attachment works for the G-spot and clitoris simultaneously while leaving enough space along the side to tease the clit with the giver's tongue. Depending on the sensitivity of the receiver, the giver can even take momentary breaks to fully engage the clit in oral stimulation, starting and stopping with the reactions of the receiver to end in an explosively orgasmic experience.

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